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Cock Head

National Training Center, Fort Irwin California 2005, young 2nd Lieutenant Mike Matelski asks his buddy 1stLieutenant Rick Montcalm to cut his hair. Rick agrees and asks Mike if he can cut his name into his hair, Mike thinks that's a good idea. Being the prick that he is, Rick cuts the word "COCK" into young Mikes hair, the rest of us laugh and Mike has no idea what we're laughing at. If you think it couldn't get better it does, even after shaving his head the word was still visible and for the next week young Mike walked around with the faint trace of the word "COCK" on his head.

Damn, where the hell is that secret bunker?

I'm not sure if that's a real sign, but I like to think that it is.

I have altered the pool

Today's random Star Wars reference, anyone recognize the quote?

Oh those wacky Iraqis

Seriously, how did they get the cars up there and how the fuck do they plan to get them down? I saw a lot of weird shit over there but this is definitely in the top 10 of weirdness.

Rude and Unreasonable Chicken

Had some fun over at Engrish.com today, if you've never been there I highly recommend it.

The Cinnamon Bun

Back in '06 there was a bridge in our Company sector that we had to man a checkpoint at daily, a job that was rotated between our Infantry Squads. One of the squads would send a guy to the Cinnabon at the food court on Camp Taji in the morning while the rest of the guys got the trucks and weapons ready to go, he would pick up cinnamon buns for everyone and they would eat breakfast at the checkpoint. Everyone in the squad would pitch in except for Specialist "B" (I won't name him to protect his dignity), he always had an excuse as to why he couldn't chip in. One morning when they handed out the cinnamon buns, there wasn't one for Specialist "B", the consensus was, you don't pay, you don't eat. He moped about and acted butt hurt about the way that he was being treated and he kept complaining all morning about not getting a cinnamon bun. After listening to him piss and moan for about an hour, the other guys gathered at his truck handed him a cinnabon box and told him that they had just been messing with him. Specialist "B" grabbed the box with glee, held it up to his nose and took a big whiff as he opened it, and immediately started gagging in disgust and horror, for in the box was not a nice warm cinnamon roll, but a fresh steaming turd that Specialist "N" had just squeezed out. I guess the lesson is, you get what you pay for.

The Upscale Version of the Paddy Wagon

The new stretch limo police car, for those times when the Kennedy's come to town. The elite go to jail in style.

One way to keep people out of your office

Good home security system, however, I think that it might set you up for some lawsuits.

My Kind of Candy

Now that's a candy that I'd enjoy.

Playing Games with Samuel L. Jackson

I have to say, Pulp Fiction had some great scenes and quite a few great lines, but it was not a good movie. I know, heresy, burn the non-believer, sorry but Tarantino movies are not that great, he's like a kid with tourettes all hyped up on sugar and most of his movies are unwatchable crap that have some how become cult icons. I found that I can only watch a Tarantino movie if I can fast forward through it.

Little yippy dog launcher

A sure way to annoy the enemy, saturate them with little hyper dogs that never shut up and nip at their ankles.

The 2nd most awesome weapon ever!

Not quite as good as the Rocket Propelled Chainsaw, but it'll do.

I'd rather be fishin

300

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