Damn Recruits Get Younger Every Year

Badass Special Forces Dog

If You've Ever Been In The Army You'll Get It

One of the ways to break the monotony of Army life is to screw with the new Privates and young 2nd Lieutenants. We would give them a ball peen hammer and a piece of chalk and have them check the armor on the tank for "soft spots".  It was always a good laugh to see the new Private holding a trash bag over the exhaust of a running vehicle trying to collect an "exhaust sample", oh the list goes on, but I'm tire right now and don't have enough time to go through them all.

True Badass

It's All A Matter Of Perspective

This has always been one of my favorite cartoons, I first saw it in Korea back in '97, thanks to Amy Oops for posting it.

This Has The Potential To End Badly

Not The Russian Soldiers I Remember Training To Fight

The New Russian Army Booty Camp

Field Rations From Around The World

Here is a sample of what Soldiers from around the world eat when they're in the field. Click on the link to go to an interactive presentation that shows what's in each meal

This Is So True

Shouldn't Have Locked His Knees

Standing parade, that's one part of the Army that I don't miss. One lesson that every Soldier learns in basic training is you don't lock your knees when standing at attention, if you do you end up like this unlucky young man.

Reflective Belts

For those of you who are scratching your heads right now, let me explain. For the past few years the Army and the Air Force have become increasingly risk averse. One way they've tried to mitigate risks is to make it mandatory for Soldiers to wear a reflective belt or vest over the physical training uniform (even though that uniform has built in reflective stripes). They have even gotten so retarded that in Iraq or Kuwait while on an Army or Air Force installation you must wear a reflective belt or vest at night whenever you go out at night. Our Soldiers and Airmen are the best and brightest in the world, unfortunately senior leaders don't think that they are intelligent enough to get out of the way when a vehicle approaches them. I'll post more reflecto belt goodness tomorrow.

Rank Structure

THE GENERAL
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to GOD.

THE COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with GOD.

THE LIEUTENANT COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in indoor swimming pool.
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

THE MAJOR
Barely clears Quonset hut.
Looses tug of war with switch engine.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

THE CAPTAIN
Makes high marks when trying to leap building.
Gets run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

THE FIRST LIEUTENANT
Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of a Mae West.
Talks to walls.

THE SECOND LIEUTENANT
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building.
Bays “Look at the Choo-Choo.”
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.

THE NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
HE IS GOD.

That's an interesting shadow

If you'll look at the shadow on the Bradley it would appear that there is some sexual misconduct going on there, but it's just an illusion. I was working on my tank, my gunner was standing on top of the turret with a hammer in his hand and my driver was on the hull talking to the gunner, when I glanced at the vehicle next to us, I saw how their shadows looked, grabbed my camera and got this picture. I know, boring story but funny picture.

Cock Head

National Training Center, Fort Irwin California 2005, young 2nd Lieutenant Mike Matelski asks his buddy 1stLieutenant Rick Montcalm to cut his hair. Rick agrees and asks Mike if he can cut his name into his hair, Mike thinks that's a good idea. Being the prick that he is, Rick cuts the word "COCK" into young Mikes hair, the rest of us laugh and Mike has no idea what we're laughing at. If you think it couldn't get better it does, even after shaving his head the word was still visible and for the next week young Mike walked around with the faint trace of the word "COCK" on his head.

Human Patch

Soldiers of the 2nd Infantry Division form a giant human 2ID patch on the Camp Casey golf course in Tongduchon South Korea. I've been to Camp Casey, definitely one of the better camps in the 2nd Infantry Divisions' area.

Russian Army Accident

At least the ambulance was there.